Deodorant for Men

"The room is bustling with tailors and servants welcoming you, Hero, back from your dangerous task of rescuing the town's citizens from an evil lich. Outside, the merriment of the city can be heard through the walls, and inside, the frenzied scribbling of the well-known Scribe is busy taking your moment of history down. 

"Sir," says an elegant gentleman, holding up a white dress shirt freshly pressed.  "Please raise your arms and allow us to dress you." You hesitate suddenly, the people in the room pause to look at you, and the sound of the scribes writing halts. You feel your face begin to flush. It's imperative to you that these people don't see the red, itchy rash left by that suspicious deodorant you bought on impulse from a sketchy market town away. 

The Scribe's face alights as he seems to understand.  "Ladies and gentlemen, I should like to ask this brave Hero some questions in private, if I may. Would you all kindly—"

The elegant butler and maids nod, scurrying out of the room as you sheepishly look away from the concerned Scribe approaching you, digging something out of his many bags and scrolls packs around his waist. He presents to you an oval-shaped container, the words: Deodorant and Fable Beard Co. can be seen. 

"I can tell, sir, that you have heard of the extraordinary qualities of Fable Beard Co's beard products, as you sport a fantastic beard like me. But perchance, good sir, have you not heard of their natural deodorant? 

"Fable's deodorant for men leaves away such questionable ingredients as aluminum and alcohol, which no doubt is the cause for your embarrassment, if I may say so. Additionally, this fine natural deodorant comes in many of their legendary scents, leaving your underarms soft as a young elven lass' skin without pesky sweat. The Wizard himself brews each batch, using nothing less than the best all-natural cold-pressed oils, shea butter, arrowroot powder, and beeswax. 

"I pray you, good sir, keep this small sample and see for yourself. Should you purchase some in the future and not find the fragrance you seek, remember that the Princess will be happy to exchange it for you." The Scribe darts a glance to the door then lowers his voice conspiratorially. 

"And, of course, I shall not mention this in your illustrious history of this day and your deeds."  You pick up this wonderous deodorant for men, eager to try a new adventure in body care."