Gruff and Ready

Gruff and Ready

“WHO DARES TREAD UPON MY DOMAIN,” bellows the Yeti as he lopes down the mountain.

Snazzyflakes raises his candy cane gun and levels it at the Yeti, a crimson beam leaping out of one of the many implements attached.

“Wait,” says Santa Claus, dropping the barrel of the toy cannon, “Yeti, we mean you no harm or disrespect. We were stranded and are looking for a place to be picked up by my sleigh.”

The Yeti snorts and his posture softens. The hair on his back begins to fall and his mouth closes back over his bared fangs. “What brings you from the North Pole?”

“I’m hunting the Blizzard, he’s wanted by the Candy King and has a hefty reward on his head,” answers Claus, strapping the toy cannon back to the the side of his magical bag of toys.

“Your insignificant money. It makes your little worlds turn as the avalanche of the multiverse swirls around you,” drawls the Yeti, “But if you’re looking for the Blizzard you’re a step behind.”

Santa raises his eyebrows at the multiverse comment, but his ears perk up at the hint of the Blizzard.

“But I had good intel that he would be in the Iced Valley,” says Claus.

The Yeti leans back and bellows a call that echoes around the mountain. “You had old intel,” retorts the Yeti.

Down the hill flies a scruffy looking reindeer, tearing up the snow with a sweet snowboard. He’s towing a luge sled in his wake.

“You need to go to the Rock Candy Caverns on the other side of the mountain, down on the seaside. That’s where you’ll find the Blizzard” says the Yeti, “Gruff here can guide you down there. He’s a master of the slopes, he can guide you down some of the more treacherous terrain.”

“Yeah dudes, I can take you down this gnarly white powder to those delicious Rock Candy Caverns,” says Gruff.

Santa walks over to the sled and takes off his sack of toys. He reaches down into the bag and pulls out a kayak paddle. Santa puts the end in the snow and wiggles it around for just a second and then looks back at the Yeti. “Glad that little Andy wanted a kayak paddle for Christmas, come on Snazzyflakes, let’s go.”


Gruff slides to a halt at the top of a hill that slopes down to the icy beach. The hill levels out to a frozen beach, which then raises into a frozen mesa with gaping holes in the Earth can be seen, entrances to the Rock Candy Caverns. Santa slides in next to him. 

“This is as far as I go, hombre,” says Gruff, “I’m going back the way I came. You just head for that spongey looking ridge. I’ll see you later, alligators.” And with a wave of his hoof, Gruff takes off once again, shredding up hill on his snowboard. 

“Hey what about your…” begins Snazzyflakes, but Gruff is long gone. “Sled…” finishes Snazzyflakes.

Santa has seen many magic reindeer, but never one who magically rides his snowboard up hill, or one who rode a snowboard for that matter. 

“Well we’ve got it for a few more hundred yards, let’s make the most of it,” says Santa pushing off once again.


Narrated by Brandon Warner

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