The Lumberjack's Frightful Night

The Lumberjack's Frightful Night

The Lumberjack walks through the fog, for what seems like forever until a cool breath of crisp fall air blows into the Lumberjack's face. He feels the damp forest floor, its moist sponginess slightly giving underneath the Lumberjack. The Lumberjack eventually comes out of the fog and finds himself in an unfamiliar maple tree grove in the middle of the night. The night is dark, but the bright moonlight illuminates the rolling hills of the maple grove. The Lumberjack notices several tree stumps grouped together, along with several logs stacked in an orderly fashion. Understanding that the professional arborist would cut into the forest as opposed to randomly cutting trees or cutting their way out, the Lumberjack makes his way toward the logging road, hoping to find his way to civilization. 


Despite the brightness of the moonlight, the darkness and the strange circumstances of the Lumberjack’s late-night walk have the Lumberjack on edge. The only thing that comforts him is his trusty ax propped up on his shoulder. The weightiness of the axe head is reassuring. 


The Lumberjack walks down the well-traveled logging road, his boots sinking and sliding around in the muddy muck. After several minutes the Lumberjack finds a log cabin, nestled between a trio of hills. A faint glow radiates from the window. The Lumberjack, hoping to find a reprieve from the night, makes his way to the cabin. 


The Lumberjack walks up the decrepit walkway towards the front door, dead shrubbery and small trees line the walkway. As he reaches for the knob, he hears a loud rumbling before the door flies open. A snaggle-toothed bumpkin stands on the other side of the door, his dirty overalls spattered with blood and gore. His eyes are wild as he revs his chainsaw.


“C’mere boy,” growls the Hillbilly, running at the Lumberjack swinging his chainsaw wildly. The Lumberjack stumbles backward, watching the strange weapon tear through the dead foilage as the Hillbilly forces the Lumberjack back down the walkway. The Lumberjack finally finds his footing, swinging his axe and striking the chainsaw bar. The chainsaw and ax kick back hard, nearly leaping out of the Hillbilly’s and Lumberjack’s hands respectively. The Lumberjack uses the brief break of aggression to run back into the pine thicket. The Hillbilly follows, maniacally cackling and swinging his chainsaw. The Lumberjack hides behind a tree, peeking around at the Hillbilly, trying to sneak back around him. The Hillbilly stops his psychotic rampage and eerily calms himself, breathing in the fresh night air of the pine grove. 


“I smell you boy,” roars the Hillbilly, revving his chainsaw and running at the Lumberjack. The Lumberjack retreats further into the pine grove until his egress is halted by a massive lake. He looks around, seemingly trapped. However, in the bright moonlight reflecting he sees a log floating in the lake. The Lumberjack agilely walks out on the log, trying to push off into the lake towards the opposite shore. The Hillbilly emerges from the woods running towards the Lumberjack. He leaps, landing roughly on the log but finding his balance. The Lumberjack widens his stance, gripping his ax tightly. The Hillbilly stands, his chainsaw forward, and begins advancing, his wild eyes boring into the Lumberjack. The Lumberjack cracks a smile, suddenly taking several steps, spinning the log beneath the Hillbilly’s feet. The Hillbilly, caught unaware, falls into lake water. A few bubbles float to the surface and, as the Hillbilly surfaces, the Lumberjack’s ax falls, splitting his skull wide open.

 

Narrated by Brandon Warner

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