Beard Oil Basics with the Wizard

A weary traveler opens the door of the tavern and shuffles in. Everything about the man is ragged, including his beard. His hair is wiry, going in every direction and split ends abound. 

The Barkeep walks over to the man and asks, “What’s your poison?”

“Right now a place to sit and any cold drink would suffice,” mutters the man lowly. The Barkeep grabs a bottle from under the bar and pours the man a tankard full. 

“It also looks like you could use something for your beard,” offers a voice next to the stranger.

“That bad, huh?” answers the stranger turning to the direction of the voice.

“I only offer because I see that your beard can be so much more,” says the hooded figure. The figure removes his hood to reveal a shaven head and a long but tidy crimson beard. The stranger notices a staff leaned up against the bar as well.

“A wizard?” asks the stranger.

“THE Wizard,” interjects the Barkeep, who was standing nearby. The Wizard and the stranger both look at the Barkeep. “Sorry,” mumbles the Barkeep.

“Anyway,” begins the Wizard, “you have a great start, but beard oil would be a great start for your beard journey.”

“I am unfamiliar with beard oil,” says the stranger, “What is it?”

“Beard oil is a popular grooming product for facial hair. It moisturizes and softens the skin under your beard, and reduces itching and irritation that occurs when you're growing out your facial hair. Beard oil helps to reduce beard dandruff, which is dead skin cells that have fallen from your face down into your beard. This can look similar to dandruff on other parts of your body. It also helps keep your beard healthy and shiny by locking in essential nutrients from ingredients like jojoba, argan, or coconut oil,  which can be applied directly to the skin underneath your beard,” explains the Wizard. He reaches into his robe and pulls out a small brown bottle and sits it on the table in front of the stranger.

The stranger opens the bottle and holds it under his nose. A magical mix of oud, amber, cologne, and musk wafts into the stranger’s nose. 

“Incredible, how do I use it?” asks the stranger.

“Depending on your hair and the weather, you should apply once or twice a day. For best results, I would say to apply beard oil after showering while your face is still damp. Any excess oils will be absorbed into your skin instead of running down onto clothing as they tend to do when applied dryly over parched follicles. You’ll want to take a small amount of oil, maybe one or two drops, and then apply it directly into your beard, messaging it into your skin. If you have one, a comb can help distribute the oil through your beard and make sure every hair is covered from root to end. Beware! You need to use as little beard oil as needed to get the desired results. As I mentioned, you should only need a few drops per application; more than that is overkill and will leave your face feeling greasy instead of fresh and clean.”

“I see, thank you Wizard for your kindness. I’m grateful for the gift,” exclaims the stranger.

“It is my mission that all may realize their true beard potential,” replies the Wizard.

Narrated by Brandon Warner