The Wizard and Why Beard Balm

The Wizard and Why Beard Balm

The bell above the Wizard’s door chimes as the adventurer waltzes in off the street. He observes numerous vials, bottles, tubs, and cans lining the walls of the establishment. The amber bottles are all painstakingly and neatly arranged with crisp labels facing the shop floor. The adventurer found himself in this shop after testimony after testimony of a magic wizard who could make his bearded dreams come true.

“Hello Adventurer,” calls a voice from the back corner of the store.

The Adventurer follows the sound of the voice and sees an auburn-bearded Wizard at a work bench with several vials with crudely scribbled labels. The Wizard is pipetting the various liquids into a central conical flask. After he gets the desired amounts of liquids, the Wizard points his wand at the flask and the liquids swirls into a vortex before settling back into the calm state it possessed before. The Wizard then pushes his stool back and turns to the Adventurer.

“Sorry about that, just mixing up the next greatest Fable scent. How can I help you?” asks the Wizard.

“I’ve been told you have the most magical beard products in all the land,” answers the Adventurer, “I would like to purchase some beard oil and butter.”

“I am happy to hear it,” says the Wizard, “I have several scents. I’m sure you will find one that tickles your fancy. However, I do need to ask, why only beard oil and butter?”

“Well,” begins the Adventurer, “I understand that beard oil hydrates the skin underneath the beard and is vital for a healthy beard. Beard butter nurishes the hair and helps maintain healthy hair.”

“Correct,” answers the Wizard, “but why not pick up a can of beard balm as well?”

“I assume that the beard butter will do better at nourishing, and provide the hold I need to make sure my beard maintains the shape that I want,” says the Adventurer.

“That can be true, however, shorter beards, curly beards, and fly aways cannot be tamed by beard butter alone. That is the purpose of beard balm. I use more beeswax in the balm than the butter for this purpose. This is not only important for looking great for a night out on the town, but the hold from beard balm is vital to training those stray hairs to lay down in the direction that you want. I also still sneak in all kinds of nourishing ingredients to help condition your beard hair as well,” answers the Wizard.

“Well in that case,” replies the Adventurer, “put me down for two!”


Narrated by Brandon Warner

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