The Wizard Diary Entry #951: Patchy Beard

The Wizard Diary Entry #951: Patchy Beard

The Wizard’s Diary Entry #951

Monday, August 1st 

“Dear Journal,

 In my research, I have journaled the bane of many a would-be beardsman: Patchy beard. The patchy beard has stopped even the most determined would-be beardsman in their tracks, discouraging them from continuing on their bearded journey at some point or time. But I find this to be a specter of self-doubt that can be conquered through great will. People with patchy beards may be tempted to cut their beards in frustration due to feelings of inferiority. People suffering from this may look at another bearded brother who appears to have his bearded life together. However, what they may miss out on is that the “dream beard” they envy is styled in such a way to cover the patches that they have. They forget the Wizard’s creed: ‘Your beard, your story.’ 

There are some ways to help make a beard fuller or look fuller. A derma roller can help. It’s a tool with many microneedles that pierce the outer layers of skin. These micropunctures can help stimulate dormant follicles underneath the skin. A routine of derma-rolling 1-2 times a week can help fill in patchy areas in a beard.

Using beard butter with a beard comb can also make your beard look fuller. The conditioning effects of the butter along with the combing can give your beard a thicker appearance. The Wizard’s butter also has magical holding properties due to the increased beeswax in the formula. This can give you a greater ability to style your beard to cover up patchy spots. 

Speaking of styling, keeping your beard trimmed evenly can help make your beard look more even. Trimming down patchy cheeks to an even length and shaping the neckline to a sharp angle will hide some of the most common patchy areas. The balbo or a goatee beard style is a great style to help men who struggle with cheek hair growth.

That being said, one of the best ways that a would-be beardsman can get rid of patchiness is… patience. Letting your beard grow out is one of the surest ways to take care of beard patchiness. Early on in the beard-growing journey, patchy spots can seem monstrous, but as your beard grows, hair can cover up the thinner spots. Being patient with your beard can also allow follicles that are slower to grow a chance to emerge and join the mighty thong of hair that is your beard.

I exhort my fellow bearded brethren to not give up on their bearded dreams. Patchiness can seem like a giant, but it is a giant that Adventurers can slay. So do not lose hope and stay the course.”


Narrated by Brandon Warner

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