What's in the Wizard's Brew?

The sun begins to fall over Franklin and the average worker tries to swing by closing shops before the proprietors retreat to their snug abodes, unavailable till the next day. The Inventor walks with purpose toward the Wizard’s shop, scratching at his face and muttering, “Ow… Ow…Ow…” He turns the corner and sees the Wizard rotating the shop sign from “Open” to “Close.”

“Wait… wait… wait…” mutters the Inventor as he runs towards the Wizard’s shop. Just as the Wizard is about to close the door, the Inventor slides his foot between the door frame and the door.

“Please Wizard, my beard itches relentlessly, I can get no relief. I need the oil,” begs the Inventor.

“Of course, Inventor, come in and get what you need while I lock up,” answers the Wizard gracefully, letting the Inventor in.

The Inventor walks up to a shelf displaying several bottles of beard care products. He selects a bottle and shakes out a few drops into his hand, then rubs it onto his beard vigorously. 

“Ahhhhh,” sighs the Inventor with relief, “I don’t know what you put in this but man does it cure the itch.”

“It’s quite simple,” answers the Wizard, “Beard oil is essentially made of three basic parts: carrier oils, essential oils, and preservatives.”

“I deal with gears, cogs, and hydraulics but I have no idea what any of that is,” replies the Inventor.

“The carrier oils is the foundation of the oil. It provides the moisturizing effect that soothes the itch in your beard.”

“Oh I see, but what are carrier oils?” replies the Inventor.

“It’s a combination of different oils. I use jojoba oil, castor oil, argan oil, coconut oil, and sweet almond oil. The jojoba oil is fast absorbing and has iodine in it, which provides antiseptic benefits. It gives your beard it’s strength and is rich in vitamins and minerals. The castor oil provides monounsaturated fatty acids which can reduce inflamation and retain moisture and nutrients. It is a great conditioner for your beard. Coconut oil provides the majority of the hydrating benefit, and due to it’s low molecular weight, it can penetrate the beard hairs and nourish the hair too. This makes your beard soft and adds shine. The argan oil is the most valuable oil in the mix. It is chock full of monounsaturated fatty acids, with some polyunsaturated fats in it as well. It’s light and soothing, it’s helpful with your beard itch. It also is an anti-oxidant, UV protector, and is high in Vitamin E. The sweet almond oil is light, has lots of polyunsaturated fats, and has antioxidant preservative qualities. It seals and protects your beard hairs.”

“I see,” answers the Inventor, “but what makes it smell so good?”

“That’s the essential oils,” explains the Wizard, “Those are oils extracted from natural sources like fruit, flowers, plants, and trees. I spend hours in my workshop experimenting with combinations to create the finest smelling oils one could ever hope to rub on their face. Once I find a good blend, I dilute the essential oils into the carrier oils.”

“Dilute? Why would you dilute it?” questions the Inventor. 

“Well you have to,” replies the Wizard, “These oils are to powerful by themselves. If I were to put them in your beard unchecked, the smell would be overpowering and your skin would burn.”

“That would be bad,” mutters the Inventor, “So then what do the preservatives do?”

“Well the essential oils are very volatile and oxidize easily, as do several of the carrier oils that contain polyunsaturated fats. Vitamins E and C can help protect these oils from going rancid. It won’t keep it lasting forever, but it does give the beard oil great shelf life,” says the Wizard.

“What design,” says the Inventor in awe and wonder, “Your product is unmatched Wizard.”

“Only by the praise and adoration of my faithful customers,” replies the Wizard.

Narrated by Brandon Warner