🧩🔪 Patches – Beard Wash
Twisted Sweetness. Dark Obsession. Stitched in Fear.
Spiced Pumpkin Puree | Dark Mocha | Burnt Honey Drizzle
In the backwoods and basements where nightmares stitch themselves together, Patches lurks. By day, nothing more than a shadow in the crowd—but by night, he becomes the slasher psycho with power tools in hand, sewing the skin of his victims into his patchwork clothes. His laughter echoes in the dark, stitched with madness, his scent a sinister blend of pumpkin spiced and sweet, mocha brewed to bitterness, and honey scorched into something cruel. He doesn’t just haunt his victims. He wears them.
This isn’t just beard wash—it’s the ritual of the stitched and the scarred. Crafted for daily cleansing, unyielding strength, and beards bold enough to carry the mark of his madness.
🕸️ Scent Profile:
🎃 Spiced Pumpkin Puree – Warm sweetness torn open to hide the horror beneath
☕ Dark Mocha – A bitter, intoxicating darkness fueling the obsession
🍯 Burnt Honey Drizzle – Golden sweetness charred to a cruel, lasting finish
🧼 What’s Included:
1 x 8oz Beard Wash – A rich, foaming cleanse for beards stitched into Patches’ legend
🪚 Benefits:
✔ Strengthens Beard Follicles – Power forged in madness
✔ Deep Hydration – Washes away grit, leaves stitched resilience
✔ Long-Lasting Fragrance – Sweet and sinister, lingering through the night
✔ Softens Beard Hairs – Tames the wild, sharpens the man
✔ Gentle Yet Potent – Cleans deep without stripping life away
✔ Soothes the Skin Beneath – A fleeting comfort before the blade returns
🧪 Ingredients & Benefits:
Water – The base of his stitched ritual
Decyl Glucoside – Coconut-based cleanser, deceptively smooth
Xanthan Gum – Holds it all together, like seams of torn flesh
Aloe Vera Powder – Calms skin beneath the horror
Lauryl Betaine – Cleans without stripping your defenses
Citric Acid – Balances the madness within
Castor Oil – Adds shine like steel under harsh lights
Sweet Almond Oil – A false kindness before the next cut
Coconut Oil – Hydrates, a brief comfort in chaos
Jojoba Oil – Conditions for endurance in the hunt
Argan Oil – Restores what has been torn away
Fragrance Oil – IFRA-compliant, stitched in shadows
🛡️ Fable’s Risk-Free Guarantee:
If Patches doesn’t cleanse, fortify, and bind your beard in his stitched madness—we’ll release you. No questions asked.
🧩 Step Into His Workshop. Wash in Darkness. Wear Patches.
Only from Fable Beard Co.—crafted for the lost, the fearless, and the beards that dare to be stitched forever.
