🍳🔥 The Gut – Beard Wash
Kitchen-Born. Fire-Tested. Frighteningly Fresh.
Savory Herbs | Smokey Bonfire | Black Peppercorn
They say the mess hall never closes—and The Gut never stops cooking. Twisted by flame and hunger, this culinary cryptid stirs his cauldrons with bone and butcher’s steel. Where he walks, the scent of scorched herbs, blackened spice, and smokey fire trails behind like a cursed recipe.
This isn’t just beard wash—it’s a brutal cleanse for beards braving heat, grease, and midnight madness. Made for the monsters behind the menu.
🍖 Scent Profile:
Savory Herbs – Aromatic and sharp, like something pulled from a haunted stew pot
Smokey Bonfire – Charred, bold, and ever-burning—embers that never die
Black Peppercorn – Spicy and persistent, a crackling heat that clings
🧼 What’s Included:
1 x 8oz Beard Wash – A rich, savory scrub brewed for bristled beasts and back-kitchen legends
🔥 Benefits:
✔ Strengthens Beard Follicles – Keeps your beard intact through the heat of the line
✔ Deep Hydration – Cleanses without stripping your natural defense
✔ Long-Lasting Fragrance – Leaves behind a scent straight from the chef’s darkest corner
✔ Softens Beard Hairs – Makes your beard less terrifying to touch
✔ Gentle Yet Powerful – Skin-safe even for cursed cooks
✔ Calms the Skin Beneath – Soothes post-shift skin, no matter how monstrous the meal
⚗️ Ingredients & Benefits:
Water – The base of every boiling cauldron
Decyl Glucoside – A mild, coconut-based cleanser for daily disaster
Xanthan Gum – Thickens like roux, creates luxurious lather
Aloe Vera Powder – Soothes scorched skin and sin
Lauryl Betaine – Washes away grime, smoke, and regret
Citric Acid – Balances skin like spice balances fear
Castor Oil – Adds sinister shine to every strand
Sweet Almond Oil – Moisturizes with deceptive gentleness
Coconut Oil – Softens even the crustiest cook’s beard
Jojoba Oil – Balances and conditions like a twisted sous-chef
Argan Oil – Repairs with an eerie calm
Fragrance Oil – Skin-safe and absolutely unholy
🛡️ Fable’s Risk-Free Guarantee:
If The Gut doesn’t cleanse your beard—or the scent doesn’t haunt your senses like a ghostly kitchen fire—we’ll replace it. No shame. No shriek.
🍳 Smell Like Smoke. Wash Like a Monster. Become The Gut.
Only from Fable Beard Co.—crafted for culinary horrors, haunted kitchens, and the legends who feed them.
