The Harder You Fall

The Harder You Fall

After what seemed like an eternity, the Hero stumbles into what appears to be a dressing room. Several adjustable barbershop-like chairs are lined up in front of large vanity mirrors, surrounded by a dozen jumbo incandescent light bulbs glowing warmly. Each station was immaculate, with stage make-up pens, brushes, and tubs all sitting perfectly laid out on the table before the mirror. 

In the last chair, a giant silhouette sits, almost comically, crammed into the relatively small chair. The figure’s bulge, his torso pouring out over the arms of the chair. The figure's mirror is covered in championship ribbons and a picture of a weightlifter. The signature says, “Maybe one day you’ll be as big as me, Sincerely, AMB.” 

The Hero approaches cautiously, seeing as he approaches that the figure sitting in the chair is none other than the CarnEvil’s Strongman. The Strongman is rubbing baby oil all over his body, muttering angrily to himself.

“It should have been me. It should have been me. That stupid jack-o-lantern mask… really? That’s showmanship? Even then, my devil mask is ten-times better anyways,” mutters the Strongman. The Strongman looks over and sees the Hero. The mountainous man rises moving toward the Hero.

“You have got to be kidding me,” says the Hero exasperatedly.

“You’ll see, you’ll all see,” murmurs the Strongman.

“Hey I believe you, I believe you big fella,” laughs the Hero weakly, “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

The Strongman grabs one of the adjustable makeup chairs and tosses it at the Hero. The Hero ducks as the chair flies over his head. The Hero looks around, looking for something, anything that might give him a chance to defeat the Strongman. The Hero looks up and catches a large barbell right in the abdomen. The Hero is carried backward and lands flat on his back.

“Oh no,” wheezes the Hero, struggling to catch his lost breath, “This sucks about as much as I thought it would.”

Before the Hero can crawl out from under the barbell, the Strongman snatches him up with a single, massive hand and tosses the Hero like a ragdoll through one of the vanities. The Hero sets up groggily. 

“Alright, that’s enough,” says the Hero, who’s eyes widens as he rolls to avoid a clothing rack.

The Strongman strolls over to the vanities to finish off the Hero but when he looks behind them, he’s not there. Then he hears the squeaking of small wheels. The Strongman looks over and sees the Hero barrelling down the aisle with a luggage cart. The luggage cart slams into the Strongman man’s lower body, knocking him over. 

The Hero seizes his chance, jumping on the Strongman’s back, locking his arms around the Strongman’s neck in a triangle hold. The Strongman stands up and thrusts himself backward into one of the tent poles. The move squeezes the air out of the Hero’s lungs but he perseveres, hanging on tight. The Strongman begins to stumble, futilely grasping at the Hero’s arms, until the pair fall to the ground, the Strongman falling onto the Hero.

“ZZZzzzzzzzz,” snores the Strongman.

“Ahhhh mannn,” moans the Hero struggling to crawl out from under the Strongman.

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