Collection: Beard Conditioners

"You've checked your map three more times as your ragged companions stop to settle on a dust-covered rock behind you. In this desert, you know there's a secret trove of treasure hidden in one of the many caves below the surface. But you've somehow found yourself turned around, parched, your beard covered in dust and sand and brittle as well as dried out. 

You hear a shout behind you as you're alerted—too late—to the arrival of a man risen from the heat waves. His grizzled face shows deep lines of hardship and sorrow, while his eyes are hard as he stares at you. He tips a wide-brimmed hat back with a flick of his finger, dangling his hands beside low-slung hip holsters. 

"Reckon' ya'll be lost," he says slowly. You finally recognize him: the infamous and dangerous Gunslinger. While your beard looks like sand-covered cactus, the Gunslinger's looks sleek, shiny, and healthy. How does he—.

"Ya'll ain't never heard of Fable Beard Co.? " He shakes his head, moving to set a bottle down on a rock a few paces away from you before backing up. "That ain't right, son. I can tell by yer frizzly whiskers and lost look. Listen here, this beard conditioner—" he taps it with a finger. " –is the best dang conditioner ye'll find this side of anywhere. Made with a lil bit of Wizard's magic and all-natural, cold-pressed oils. This here conditioner will prevent skin irritation and repair skin cells thanks to aloe vera, moisturize due to shea butter, sunflower oil, olive oil, avocado oil, wheat germ oil, castor oil, coconut, sweet almond, and jojoba oil. 

This conditioner will make sure yon beard o' yers gets real shiny, soft, stronger, and promotes growth. Best beard conditioner ye'll ever use, an' risk-free." He glances behind him.  "Unlike this desert. I highly suggest you skedaddle a lil more to the west to find whatcher lookin' for. And don't forget to bring the beard conditioner." He glances at your beard and back to your face.  "Yer gonna need it." 

As mysteriously as The Gunslinger appears, he melts away behind a protrusion of rock, leaving you to inspect the bottle he left behind and a note that if you don't like it, to contact The Princess for an exchange, no questions asked. You can reach her at customerservice@fablebeardco.com"