Patches - Beard Conditioner - Spiced Pumpkin Puree, Dark Mocha, Burnt Honey Drizzle

🧩🔪 Patches – Beard Conditioner
Stitched Sweetness. Bitter Heat. Strength Restored.

Spiced Pumpkin Puree | Dark Mocha | Burnt Honey Drizzle

By day, he was no one—just another face in the crowd. By night, he became Patches, the slasher who stitched his legend with the skin of his victims. In basements and hidden rooms, his power tools roared, sewing horrors into patchwork clothes. Death never stopped him. In eternity, he still works—every rinse soaked in the sweet illusion of spiced pumpkin, the bitter darkness of mocha, and the scorched cruelty of burnt honey. Each wash restores strength, softens the wild, and binds your beard in the ritual of his stitched madness.

This isn’t just beard conditioner—it’s deep restoration, crafted in fear and obsession to hydrate, strengthen, and soften with brutal efficiency.

🕸️ Scent Profile:
🎃 Spiced Pumpkin Puree – Sweet comfort ripped open to mask the horror beneath
☕ Dark Mocha – Bitter darkness stitched into every strand
🍯 Burnt Honey Drizzle – Golden sweetness, scorched and cruel, that lingers like madness

💧 What’s Included:
✔ 1 x 8oz Beard Conditioner – Daily hydration stitched with darkness and lasting softness

🪚 Benefits:
✔ Promotes Beard Strength – Power stitched in obsession
✔ Seals in Moisture – Hydration that endures the night
✔ Deep Conditioning – Revives coarse, dry beards with brutal care
✔ Softens & Smooths – Brings control to even the wildest strands
✔ Long-Lasting Scent – Sweet, dark, and unforgettable
✔ Calms & Nourishes Skin – A fleeting comfort before the blade returns

⚗️ Ingredients & Benefits:
Water & Aloe Vera – Hydrate and soothe beneath the madness
Cetearyl Alcohol & BTMS – Detangle and condition like seams pulled tight
Shea Butter – Deep moisture, false comfort before the cut
Coco-Glucoside & Xanthan Gum – Gentle cleansing, stable as his stitches
Sunflower, Olive & Avocado Oils – Nutrient-rich support for survival
Jojoba & Castor Oils – Strengthen and condition with relentless power
Wheat Germ & Sweet Almond Oils – Add deceptive softness and shine
Argan & Coconut Oils – Restore and protect what the hunt tears away
Fragrance (IFRA-compliant) – Sweet, bitter, and stitched in shadows
Silver Dihydrogen Citrate, Citric Acid, Lactic Acid, Tocopherol (Vitamin E) – Preserve, balance, and guard against decay

🛡️ Fable’s Risk-Free Guarantee:
If Patches doesn’t restore your beard with strength, softness, and stitched endurance—we’ll release you. No questions asked.

🧩 Step Into His Workshop. Condition the Madness. Wear Patches.
Only from Fable Beard Co.—crafted for the lost, the fearless, and the beards that dare to be stitched forever.