🐧💥 The Polarizer – Beard Wash
Santa’s Unhinged Penguin Demolitions Expert
Frostbitten Freshness. Controlled Chaos. A Deep Clean for the Agent Who Blasts Through Christmas Missions.
Peppermint Hot Cocoa | Powdered Sugar | Condensed Milk
When icy danger threatens the North Pole’s underground passages or sleigh-entry tunnels, The Polarizer is deployed—Santa’s wild, sugar-fueled Secret Service penguin with a talent for tactical explosions and peppermint-powered engineering. Armed with experimental candy-cane charges and a mind that moves faster than a runaway snowball, he keeps the Pole’s covert operations running smoothly (and occasionally, spectacularly messy).
His scent bursts sweet and creamy—peppermint hot cocoa steaming like a warm mug after a detonated ice barrier, powdered sugar sparkling through the air like post-blast snowfall, and silky condensed milk giving it a decadent, holiday-lush finish.
This isn’t just beard wash—it's chaos-grade cleansing engineered for operatives who defend Christmas from below the ice.
🎯 Scent Profile:
🍫 Peppermint Hot Cocoa – Warm, minty, and mission-ready
🍚 Powdered Sugar – Sweet, snowy, and explosively festive
🥛 Condensed Milk – Creamy richness with covert-ops charm
🧼 What’s Included:
1 x 8 oz Beard Wash – A rich, foaming cleanse infused with The Polarizer’s sweet, minty, sugar-charged formula
🎖️ Benefits:
✔ Strengthens Beard Follicles – Keeps your mane steady during high-voltage missions
✔ Deep Cleansing – Removes buildup from explosive debris and sugar-fueled chaos
✔ Long-Lasting Fragrance – Sweet, creamy, minty freshness that lingers
✔ Softens Beard Hairs – Silky smooth even in subzero conditions
✔ Gentle Yet Reliable – Safe for daily cleansing across the holiday battlefield
✔ Soothes the Skin Beneath – Hydrates and comforts after every frosty blast
⚗️ Ingredients & Benefits:
Water – The base of every great wash
Decyl Glucoside – Gentle coconut-derived cleanser
Xanthan Gum – Creates a smooth, even lather
Aloe Vera Powder – Calms cold-weather irritation
Lauryl Betaine – Cleans deeply without stripping
Citric Acid – Balances for a healthy shine
Castor Oil – Strengthens and supports thickness
Sweet Almond Oil – Softens and nourishes
Coconut Oil – Protects against arctic dryness
Jojoba Oil – Conditions from root to tip
Argan Oil – Adds luster, smoothness, and vitality
Fragrance Oil – IFRA-compliant and penguin-operative approved
🛡️ Fable’s Risk-Free Guarantee
If The Polarizer doesn’t leave your beard clean, soft, and chaos-ready, we’ll refund or replace it—no questions asked.
🐧💥 Lather up. Stay frosty. Cause controlled chaos.
Only from Fable Beard Co.—crafted for the agents who protect Christmas with explosions and enthusiasm.
